Talk about silence ;).... I especially liked your first line "soaking up stillness"; your word selection really emphasizes how stillness is dissolved in silence. I believe that Haikus are really hard to write because they are very short (if I am not mistaking it must be of 17 syllables) Very few and perfect words must be selected to give out a deep and significant meaning. Your attempt of doing so was successful.
Well, I think Tracy pretty much covered all the basics. I especially liked " sounds of silence" because it's kind of paradoxical: silence has no sound! Very serene and peaceful, the stillness truly seeps into the reader :) Well written haiku
Kudos Sirena! Love the poem. The alliteration is fantastic, the repetition of the "s"'s in your few but powerful words are very ironic, considering the sharpness of the sounds. Despite the sharp S's, as a reader I very much felt the sense of stillness, when reading it in a whisper.
There is a small fault in your structure of the poem though. Haikus are to meant be three lines, the first having 5 syllables, the second with 7, and the last with 5 again. Your second line has 8 syllables, but it is a minor error. Perhaps it would also be more powerful had you not repeated the word "silent" (I am aware they are different parts of speech, but I still think it has a sort of dampening effect on the poem.) Still, a powerful and successful haiku.
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Talk about silence ;)....
I especially liked your first line "soaking up stillness"; your word selection really emphasizes how stillness is dissolved in silence. I believe that Haikus are really hard to write because they are very short (if I am not mistaking it must be of 17 syllables) Very few and perfect words must be selected to give out a deep and significant meaning. Your attempt of doing so was successful.
Well, I think Tracy pretty much covered all the basics. I especially liked " sounds of silence" because it's kind of paradoxical: silence has no sound! Very serene and peaceful, the stillness truly seeps into the reader :)
Well written haiku
Did no one notice the excessive use of the "s" sound?
Kudos Sirena! Love the poem. The alliteration is fantastic, the repetition of the "s"'s in your few but powerful words are very ironic, considering the sharpness of the sounds. Despite the sharp S's, as a reader I very much felt the sense of stillness, when reading it in a whisper.
There is a small fault in your structure of the poem though. Haikus are to meant be three lines, the first having 5 syllables, the second with 7, and the last with 5 again. Your second line has 8 syllables, but it is a minor error. Perhaps it would also be more powerful had you not repeated the word "silent" (I am aware they are different parts of speech, but I still think it has a sort of dampening effect on the poem.) Still, a powerful and successful haiku.
hahah you said that while i was writing my comment
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